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I’m joking of course (but not by much).My wife Lori thinks Jim is a hoot (Her words not mine). I used to complain to her about Jim’s antics, but since she never listens to my bellyaching (Her words again) I have stopped bitching and gone with the flow.So here we are, sitting on the couch watching the Miami Dolphins get the shit kicked out of them by the New England Patriots, Lori and Martha had gone to places unknown and wouldn’t be back till seven and I had just handed Jim his third beer and there was still ten minutes left in the first quarter.That’s when he asked the question. He turned to me and with a very serious look on his face he said.“Bill, can I ask you a very personal question?”I was sort of surprised because we almost never talked about anything personal, so I did really think he would ask anything like he did.“Yeah, sure I guess.” I told him.“Now be honest ok, this is important to me.”“Uh ok.”“Have you ever given a guy a blowjob?”“WHAT?”“Have you ever sucked a guy’s. I realize he still hasn't let go of my arm. We are sitting on the bed. "We have to get out of here!" I know damn it! I actually guessed that it was you when I heard the scream. You get used to cheerleaders screaming. Then, I know this sounds weird, but I could tell it was you by your smell. It's your shampoo I think, but that is how everyone knows when you are coming without seeing you first." What?!" I know, forget it, but in the mean time. What the hell are we going to do?" I don't know what the hell you are going to do, but I know what I'm going to! I am going to call my parents and the cops." And tell them what? We have no idea where we are!" the hatred returns. I don't like it."Whatever."I go over to my bag, and pull out my cell phone. I call Mom and Dad.I have to walk around to find service."Mom! Dad! I've been kidnapped! Help! I don't know where we are! But we ended up in some warehouse or something, and now we are in this underground tunnel or something. Help! Please! We were.
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